I met someone recently who
shared this personal story....

Two friends were at a party held at the mansion of a billionaire. One said, “Wow! Look at this place! This guy has everything!” The other said, “Yes, but I have something he'll never have: enough.”

When I decided to sell my company in 2008, I already had enough.

I live simply. I hate waste and excess. I have a good apartment, a good laptop, and a few other basics. But the less I own, the happier I am. The lack of possessions gives me the priceless freedom to live anywhere anytime.

Having too much money can be harmful. It throws off perspective. It makes people do stupid things like buy “extra” cars or houses they don't use - or upgrade to first class for “only” $10,000 so they can be a little more comfortable for a few hours.

Derek Sivers   and his company  CD BABY  changed  the way music is bought and sold.  But beyond that, he lives a life by design!  Sivers  has been called  a hippie capitalist in the best sense of both words.  It is said, he is really sincerely driven by wanting to help people.  I think most of us can learn from his writings and they will make you stop and think.


Check out his blog  and see what he is all about. 

He has some great things to say and you will  surely find his writings motivational and inspirational! 

He is involved with  cool new free projects to help musicians -


MusicThoughts : inspiring quotes about music


SongTest : a free, open song contest

    

      I Believe....
 
A Birth Certificate shows that we were born .....A Death Certificate shows that we died.
Pictures show that we lived! .....Have a seat.   Relax,    And read this slowly.

I Believe...
That just because two people argue, It doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue,   It doesn't mean they do love each other.

 


I Believe...
That we don't have to change friends if     We understand that friends change.

 
I Believe....
That no matter how good a friend is,   they're going to hurt you every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.

 
I Believe...
That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.

I Believe...
That you can do something in an instant   That will give you heartache for life.

 

I Believe....
That it's taking me a long time   To become the person I want to be.

 
I Believe...
That you should always leave loved ones with  loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.

 

I Believe....
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I Believe....
That we are responsible for what   We do, no matter how we feel.

I Believe...
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I Believe...
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs
to be done, regardless of the consequences. 
 
I Believe....
That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I Believe....
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down
will be the ones to help you get back up.

I Believe...
That sometimes when I'm angry  I have the right to be angry, 
But that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

 

I Believe....
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had
And what you've learned from them and less to do with  how many
birthdays you've celebrated.

 
I Believe....
That it isn't always enough,  to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.

 
I Believe...
That no matter how bad your heart is broken   the world doesn't stop for your grief.

 
I Believe....
That our background and circumstances  may have influenced who we are,
But, we are responsible for who we become.

 
I Believe...
That you shouldn't be so eager to find Out a secret. It could change your life Forever.

 
I Believe...
That your life can be changed in a matter of Hours by people who don't even know you.

 
I Believe...
That even when you think you have no more to give,
When a friend cries out to you - you will find the strength to help.

 
I Believe...
That credentials on the wall  do not make you a decent human being.

 
I Believe...
That the people you care about most in life  are taken from you too soon.

 

 
The happiest of people don't necessarily  have the best of everything;
They just make the most of everything they have.

Share this with people  YOU BELIEVE IN.


Are you living a  Life By Design?

    

SADLY, BP admitted defeat 
Saturday in its attempt to plug the Gulf of Mexico oil leak by pumping mud into a busted well, but said it's readying yet another approach to fight the spill after a series of failures.

AND  WORSE  YET, Independent scientists and government officials say there's a disaster we can't see in the Gulf of Mexico's mysterious depths, the ruin of a world inhabited by enormous sperm whales and tiny, invisible plankton.

Researchers have said they have found at least two massive underwater plumes of what appears to be oil, each hundreds of feet deep and stretching for miles. Yet the chief executive of BP PLC – which has for weeks downplayed everything from the amount of oil spewing into the Gulf to the environmental impact – said there is "no evidence" that huge amounts of oil are suspended undersea.

On the surface, a 24-hour camera fixed on the spewing, blown-out well and the images of dead, oil-soaked birds have been evidence of the calamity. At least 20 million gallons of oil and possibly 43 million gallons have spilled since the Deepwater Horizon drilling rig exploded and sank in April.

The Gulf's largest spill was in 1979, when the Ixtoc I platform off Mexico's Yucatan peninsula blew up and released 140 million gallons of oil. But that was in relatively shallow waters – about 160 feet deep – and much of the oil stayed on the surface where it broke down and became less toxic by the time it reached the Texas coast.

But last week, a team from the University of South Florida reported a plume was headed toward the continental shelf off the Alabama coastline, waters thick with fish and other marine life.

The researchers said oil in the plumes had dissolved into the water, possibly a result of chemical dispersants used to break up the spill. That makes it more dangerous to fish larvae and creatures that are filter feeders.

READ  MORE  AT  HUFFINGTON  POST

    

On Wednesday, The Los Angeles Times reported that fishermen hired to cleanup BP's mess were coming down with nausea, severe headaches, and breathing problems after working in waters contaminated by the nation's worst oil spill.

BP reportedly told the workers that if they encountered oil, it "wasn't supposed to bother [them]." BP did not distribute gloves, suits, or any other kind of protective gear.

Sick animals and sick people. Harbor seals and birds were looking like they were drunk and dying ... and autopsies showed brain lesions....What are we exposing these poor people to?" WHO is going to fix this mess???


I am so disgusted that they had no contingency plan for an accident like this. 

This morning it was  stated  " BP plugged  the leak and  has stopped the hydrocarbons from coming up  the well. However, they cautioned that the operation to seal the well permanently was not complete..."

    

Do you ever feel drained after being around a certain person or in a particular place?
 
Is there someone in your life who has decided that you are their personal doormat?
 
Ever feel ‘just plain bad’ for no discernible reason?

If the answer to any of these questions was "YES," then you are in need of "Invisible Armor." With simple yet powerful techniques created by author Tommy Hensel, you will learn how to block the negative energies around you, pull in the positive and to manifest those things you need to live your life more joyfully.

Invisible Armor: Protecting Your Personal Energy helps you develop the skills to identify your personal energy, focus and direct that energy, clarify your personal boundaries, create energetic protection, enforce your new boundaries . . . and much more!

The original book and CD were created and published in 1999. Now, author Tommy Hensel has taken a decade of working with clients and used that experience to refine, revise and expand the original text.

The downloadable e-book version of "Invisible Armor: Protecting Your Personal Energy" and for a limited time, copies of the CD "Creating Your Personal Energy," are now available.

Tommy Hensel, author of "Invisible Armor: Protecting Your Personal Energy" is available for bothindividual coaching and group training in the techniques from the book and CD. Working one-on-one with the client, Tommy will help them assess the state of their personal energy.  Together, they will then develop a focused, practical plan to cleanse, shield and protect their energy.



A current resident of Chicago, Tommy Hensel was formerly a 10-year resident of the Seacoast region of New Hampshire.  He originally hails from South Carolina and has spent time as a resident of Florida, North Carolina, DC, Pennsylvania and Maine.

Tommy works as an actor, director, singer and cabaret artist as well as a  spiritual coach and counselor, Feng Shui consultant and hands-on healer. He has worked with hundreds of people both privately and in workshops to transform their lives using the techniques described in his book Invisible Armor: Protecting Your Personal Energy.  He is also one of the creators and teachers of the Wei Chi Healing™ system of hands-on healing.



Join the Facebook FanPage
Visit  Invisible Armor

    

 

Currently, a majority of the one thousand adults polled in a 2009 survey by Trojan described their sex life as “depressing, lukewarm, and predictable.” 

For the millions of Americans who can describe their own relationship in equally dismal terms, Valentine’s Day 2010 brings some very good news indeed – the publication of

Love Her Right: The Married Man's Guide to
Lesbian Secrets for Great Sex! 
by Dr. Joni Frater and Esther Lastique.

 

Up to 75% of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce – often for reasons having to do with sex, including boredom, or a desire for more pleasure or variety – and Dr. Joni and Esther are determined to do their part to reverse this disturbing trend.  Reflecting their commitment to showing America’s couples how to bring a new level of pleasure and intimacy back into their relationships, this Valentine’s Day they are inviting everyone to participate in their fun-filled “Love Warrior Challenge.”

In this unique and remarkable guide to romance and sexual pleasure, the authors share the secrets that make their relationship one that is endlessly exciting and filled with pleasure, and also share all that they’ve learned from the countless experts on sex and relationships who have joined them on their weekly online radio show. In writing Love Her Right, Dr. Joni and Esther were truly responding to popular demand.  After being asked hundreds of times about their own passionate relationship, Dr. Joni and Esther became convinced that they had some important insights that could bring greater levels of pleasure and intimacy to other couples.

In Love Her Right – and in interviews about their new book -- Dr. Joni Frater and Esther Lastique are eager to share their insights, secrets and techniques, including:
•       How a married man can know what his wife is thinking and how to turn her on
•       How to transform a marriage in as little as 10 minutes a day
•       Why having sex every 24 hours is great for your health
•       How to reignite the fires of passion if they fizzled into ashes over the years
•       How to create nights of passion even if one partner has medical issues or physical limitations.


BUY  THE  BOOK
Love Her Right: The Married Man's Guide to Lesbian Secrets for Great Sex!

Visit the Website  LOVE HER RIGHT

Leave it to the gays to save a straight marriage - yet, they won't let the gays marry!

Go figure!

    

How many times have you said, or heard someone say, "I wish I knew then, what I know now!"

KNOWLEDGE = WISDOM = GROWTH.

Wikipedia says  Wisdom is a deep understanding of people, things, events or situations, empowering the ability to choose or act to consistently produce the optimum results with a minimum of time and energy. Wisdom is the ability to optimally (effectively and efficiently) apply perceptions and knowledge and so produce the desired results. Wisdom is comprehension of what is true or right coupled with optimum judgment as to action.

In 2008, I discovered an awesome book! Wisdom: The Greatest Gift One Generation Can Give To Another. It was inspiring to me, and I have since bought several copies to give as gifts.

It's a HUGE hardcover book weighing  5 pounds by  Andrew Zuckerman, who  is a New York–based photographer and director.

Inspired by the idea that wisdom is the greatest gift one generation can give to another, award-winning photographer and filmmaker Zuckerman interviewed, photographed and filmed 50 of the world’s great writers, actors, artists, designers, politicians, musicians and religious and business leaders of our time. He posed seven questions to each of his subjects—all over 65 years of age—and their candid responses offer uniquely inspirational and often surprising insights.

 

With the help of Desmond Tutu, Zuckerman and his team traveled to four continents to meet with luminaries from all works of life. Thoughts from Nelson Mandela, Frank Gehry, Judi Dench, The Dalai Lama, Clint Eastwood, Ted Kennedy, Robert Redford, Vaclav Havel, Terence Conran, Buzz Aldrin, Lou Reed, Willie Nelson, Madeline Albright, Jane Goodall, Burt Bacharach, Andrew Wyeth, Vanessa Redgrave, Nadine Gordimer and many more reveal lifetimes of adversity and triumph, and present intimate insights into very public lives.

 

Beautifully photographed and accompanied by a  60-minute documentary DVD, Wisdom is above all a timeless gift and a deeply revealing portrait of the common experiences that unite generations.

During this past holiday season, the publisher (Abrams) has broken the book down into 4 bite-sized chunks. Perfect for gift-giving and specific themes. LOVE, LIFE, PEACE, IDEAS.   Each of these books comes with a 15 minute DVD and very affordable at about $17.

We don't realize when we are young, but Wisdom and our experience, is the greatest gift to give someone.
If we don't learn, we don't grow!


WATCH THE MOVIE TRAILER OF WISDOM

            

    

Chicago-based yoga teacher and performance artist Robyn Okrant had a crazy  idea!

What if she spent the entire year of 2008 doing everything Oprah Winfrey suggested? Live Your Best Life! Would she find happiness? Would she achieve Oprah's female "ideal" without domestic help and on a yoga instructor's budget?

It was something no one else had done before. She decided to go for it. - She started a blog, it cost her $5,000  in  out-of-pocket expenses, the process made her sad, put a strain on relationships - but she did get a book deal out of it!

This week, Okrant's book about the experiment, Living Oprah: My One-Year Experiment to Walk the Walk of the Queen of Talk , is out. The tell-all follows her as she makes do without paper towels, gives herself a makeover, redefines her sex life and adopts a kitten. By the end of 2008, she'd spent almost $5,000 and had committed to 57 ongoing Oprah challenges, as well as countless one-time tasks.

On  FORBES.com this week, they ask her....

Following all of Oprah's advice for a year took you a total of 1,202 focused hours--about 75 full days, excluding sleep. What was it like?

It was incredibly draining, and it made me really sad. It made me sad to think of how many hours I've lost--even when I wasn't doing the project--to blindly following advice and listening to what other people tell me I should be doing to create my own happiness. I wondered how many hours other women have lost in the course of their lives to that.

Ultimately, what did you learn?

I had so many self-realizations about the fact that I am so susceptible to advice--from Oprah, from self-help books, from magazine stands and TV. I learned without a shadow of a doubt that I have to listen to my own voice. I have to create my own definitions for beauty, success and happiness if I am to feel fulfilled. That felt very empowering.



READ THE FULL INTERVIEW AT FORBES

READ ROBYNS BLOG - LIVING OPRAH

    

Andy Behrman, a former spokesman for Abilify and Bristol Myers Squibb, discusses his side effects from Abilify, the "wonder drug" of Bristol Myers Squibb.

In 2004, Mr. Behrman, a 42-year-old bipolar patient said it was a miracle drug!  He recounted how a Bristol-Myers drug, called Abilify, had changed his life. Unlike other medicines he had tried, Abilify had no side effects, he said. The testimonial drew a standing ovation. He had only taken the drug a few days when he made that statement.

Wall Street Journal says  there has been a lot of finger pointing; he said, she said, etc.

Andy Behrman now speaks out about ABILIFY and sent a personal note to me today (1/04/10) stating:

Dear Derrick,

Can Abilify kill you? Sure it can.

You have to keep in mind that Abilify is the drug that Bristol Myers Squibb marketed illegally to children and ended up paying a $515 million fine to the U.S. Government.  You certainly won't get a comment from Sonia Choi, Bristol-Myers Squibb's Spokeswoman - - they wish that they had never hired somebody like myself, who after a non-disclosure ended, would tell the truth about how Abilify was marketed and there's plenty more coming!

I read with interest your blog and would be more than happy to speak with you.

Best,

Andy Behrman
www.electroboy.com

That is awesome!  These drug companies are ridiculous in what they'll do for money.  Thank you Andy!

    

I like a movie that teaches you, or reminds you, about how precious life is and how to make the most of it.  PEACEFUL WARRIOR is a couple years old. Based on the true story and book by  Dan Millman, The story is about a young gymnast Dan Millman played by Scott Mechlowicz, and his struggle to make sense of his life in which he is successful but still unfulfilled.

By chance he meets his "Yoda"/Shaolin priest/Boss Paul who helps him "git his haid straight" after which he goes on to be comfortable with his athletic prowess albeit not exactly Olympic caliber. There is a lot of jumping around scene wise during which we don't know what is dream (part of getting his head straight) or reality showing his maturing personality.

He suffers a debilitating physical injury which forces him to work very hard to get back where he was ability wise earlier, but much wiser for successfully negotiating his transformation to wise old Grasshopper.

Inspiring quotes  include...

1. There are no ordinary moments.

2. This moment is the only thing that matters.

3. Wake up! If you knew for certain you had a terminal illness…if you had little time left to live…you would waste precious little of it. Well, I'm telling you…you do have a terminal illness: It's called birth. You don't have more than a few years left. No one does! So be happy now, without reason…or you will never be at all.

4. Find the love in what you do.

5. Everything has a purpose. It's up to you to find it.

6. Some people live their whole lives without ever waking up.

7. Knowledge is not the same as wisdom.

8. Those who are hardest to love are the ones who need it most.

9. There is never nothing going on.

10. There is only the journey.

it gives us some tools and insight to deal with the conflicts within ourselves.
Check out Dan's site and blog as well, for inpirational articles  emails!

    

Guy Laliberté, Founder of Cirque du Soleil and President of the ONE DROP Foundation is proud to invite you to attend Moving Stars and Earth for Water, a unique event seeking to raise everyone's awareness of water-related issues.

UNITING PERSONALITIES

IN 14 CITIES AROUND THE WORLD

A 2 HOUR ONLINE PROGRAM

Former U.S. Vice President Al Gore, Dr. David Suzuki, Joss Stone, Matthew McConaughey, Peter Gabriel, Salma Hayek, Shakira, Tatuya Ishii, U2, Cirque du Soleil and many others will join voices to celebrate water.


Witness this 2 hour  unique event  ONLINE. Find your time zone...

AFRICA - Johannesburg
 OCTOBER 10
 2:00 AM
 
AUSTRALIA - Sydney
 OCTOBER 10
 11:00 AM
 
BRASIL - Rio de Janeiro
 OCTOBER 9
 9:00 PM
 
CANADA - Montréal
 OCTOBER 9
 8:00 PM
 
FRANCE - Paris
 OCTOBER 10
 2:00 AM
 
INDIA - Mumbai
 OCTOBER 10
 5:30 AM
 
JAPAN - Osaka
 OCTOBER 10
 10:00 AM
 
MEXICO - Mexico
 OCTOBER 9
 7:00 PM
 
MOROCCO - Marrakech
 OCTOBER 10
 00:00 AM
 
UNITED KINGDOM - London
 OCTOBER 10
 1:00 AM
 
UNITED STATES - New York
 OCTOBER 9
 8:00 PM
 
UNITED STATES - Santa Monica
 OCTOBER 9
 5:00 PM
 
UNITED STATES - Tampa
 OCTOBER 9
 8:00 PM
 
RUSSIA - Moscow
 OCTOBER 10
 4:00 AM

Water for all, all for water

    

GiveForward is a privately held social venture started by two people who had the idea that they could change the world by making it super-duper easy for people to raise money online for the things they care about. Ethan Austin and Desiree Vargas had an idea about starting a website that connects worthy causes with everyday donors.

"We believe that everyone has the ability to change someone's world. Whether you're a small non-profit raising funds to build a school in Africa, an individual running a race to raise money for your favorite charity, or just chipping in so your neighbor can pay for unexpected medical expenses, your efforts can make someone's life a lot better. Our goal at GiveForward is help as many people as possible by providing an easy-to-use tool that makes it simple to raise money online no matter what your cause might be."

    

In a survey, 95% of the people said  they DO NOT want to know when they are going to die. But I always thought if you knew, you could prepare, and "get things in order".  Finish things on your  bucket list. I guess that's why they say don't take a single day for granted. Live each day to its fullest.

I do believe we are here to grow and learn in our lifetime. Life is short. No one wants to lie on their death bed and think about their past mistakes and wish their life had taken a different turn. It is never too late to start fixing your life and to learn from your errors.

Always make sure those who are important to you, know how much you care for them.

Have gratitude. Be  appreciative.

View past mistakes as learning experiences.

Learn. Grow. Live life with passion.

    

I just read about John Hughes passing today. He was just walking along and dropped dead of a heart attack.

So MANY great memories....National Lampoon's Vacation; Ferris Bueller's Day Off; Weird Science; The Breakfast Club; Some Kind of Wonderful; Sixteen Candles; Pretty in Pink; Planes, Trains and Automobiles; Uncle Buck; Home Alone and its sequel Home Alone 2: Lost in New York.

Some would call them  lame  comedies. But for many of us, his comedies were about  "life stuff" and had great meaning.



While poking around the internet I found this cool blog called  We'll Know When We Get There. It's a neat blog by a lady named  Alison Byrne Fields. And she recounts the days when she was growing up and actually became a pen pal with him, for a number of  years! The blog post, was just put up yesterday, and has already generated  800+  comments!




Read this great tribute/story about this very cool director / producer John Hughes.

    

It almost sounds too simple to feel important, but understanding the power of gratitude can change your life forever.
Sarah Breathnach said it best...

    "When we choose not to focus on what's missing from our lives
     but are grateful for the abundance that's present...
      we experience heaven on earth."

So sit back, relax and turn up your speakers to enjoy our new 2 minute inspirational movie from Learning to Dance in the Rain.

The words, the photographs and the music are beautiful!

    

After watching   movies like Seven Pounds and  Pay It Forward,  I  ask  myself, gosh, what I can I do to make a difference?!

So I GOOGLED   "make a difference".

And I found a day called  just that!  The national MAKE A DIFFERENCE day  to help others and make a difference
will be  October  24th, 2009.


But in the meantime, if you want to do something right now, you can search by keyword, or city, or zip code! And find a project that is happening or upcoming!

GET INVOLVED!


Make A Difference Day, the largest national day of helping others, is sponsored by USA WEEKEND Magazine and its more than 600 carrier newspapers. Make A Difference Day is held in partnership with the Points of Light Foundation. The 18 th Make A Difference Day was Saturday, Oct. 25, 2007. Make A Difference Day supporter Paul Newman donates 100 percent of after-tax income from Newman's Own to educational and charitable causes. 

E-mail: diffday@usaweekend.com
Make A Difference Day Hot Line: 1-800-416-3824

    

 

Last night we watched  Seven Pounds.
 

I thought it was a great story, but could have been told better, but still,  gave it a  4 out of 5!

If you HAVE NOT seen it, it helps to know the story. In a nutshell....


Tim Thomas (Will Smith) caused a car crash; seven people died: six strangers and his fiancée, Sarah Jenson (Robinne Lee).

Tim decides on redemption. He sets out to save the lives of seven good people. A year after the crash, and having quit his job as an aeronautical engineer, Tim donates a lung lobe to his brother, Ben (Michael Ealy), an IRS employee.

Six months later he donates part of his liver to a child services worker named Holly (Judyann Elder). After that, he begins searching for more candidates to receive donations. He finds George (Bill Smitrovich), a junior hockey coach, and donates a kidney to him, and then donates bone marrow to a young boy named Nicholas (Quintin Kelley).

Two weeks before he dies, he contacts Holly and asks if she knows anyone who deserves help. She suggests Connie Tepos (Elpidia Carrillo), who lives with an abusive boyfriend.

Tim moves out of his millionaire dollar ocean front house and into a local motel, taking with him his pet box jellyfish. One night, after being beaten, Connie contacts Tim and he gives her the keys and deed to his beach house. She takes her two children and moves in to their new home.

Having stolen his brother's IRS credentials, he checks out candidates for his two final donations. The first is Ezra Turner (Woody Harrelson), a blind meat salesman who plays the piano. Tim calls Ezra Turner and harasses him at work to check if he is quick to anger. Ezra remains calm and Tim decides he is worthy.

He then contacts Emily Posa (Rosario Dawson), a self-employed greeting card printer who has a heart condition and a rare blood type. He spends time with her and  he begins to fall in love with her and decides that as her condition has worsened he needs to make his donation.

His brother tracks him down to Emily's house. Ben then demands that Tim return his IRS ID to him. Tim leaves and returns to the motel. He fills the bathtub with ice water to preserve his vital organs, climbs in, and then commits suicide by pulling his box jellyfish into the water with him. His friend Dan (Barry Pepper) acts as executor to ensure that his organs are donated to Emily and Ezra. Ezra Turner receives his corneas and Emily receives his heart. 

WOW!  That's  GIVING!



Seven Pounds YouTube Movie Trailer


So what can we do to make a difference???

    

GOSH....

I FEEL SO GUILTY!

We started this site nearly 3 years ago.  With the hopes we would share personal insight and ways for people to really make a difference in their lives. Live  a life  WORTH  MEANING! School does NOT teach us what we really need to know in life!

After I turned 30, I asked myself, "Is my life headed in the right direction? How do you change it if you are not? Why would you want a life by design? What if you thought you were, but are not happy with where your life has taken you? Do you go through the motions of life? With no meaning? or experience?"

SO I SAID! "Join me on a journey! A journey of discovering the secret to living a Life By Design! Inspirational and motivational. Let's create change. Change in ourselves - change in others!"

WE  now  try to do our best  to juggle  15 sites!  And there is just no way to give each site the time and dedication that is needed.  But we try! So bear with us! Because this site,  LIFE  BY DESIGN  really  started it all. And it is something we are very passionate about.  And  I am not sure why....or  how....or  when....but we know this site will  EXPLODE one day! We enjoy a few thousand readers each month, there is just not enough time in the day to post to it frequently.

That said,  we are accepting posts from freelance writers. If you have a blog that is similar in  mission - send us a post, and we'll make you a guest author!  E-Mail me!

This site is too important to us and I think as a collaborative effort - WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!


Let me know if you would like to contribute!



Derrick   Sorles
Michael  Snell


Life  By   Design

    

I found this site this week called  GREAT DAY, by Ralph Marston, Jr.
And he provides daily motivational and inspirational thoughts!

We have added their feed in the left sidebar, and it will update daily.

Ralph has been doing this for a number of years and now has over
3500 motivators! Stop by his site and check it out!

    

A dear friend me called today. He knew a couple very well. (We did not know them very well, just by name and sight, just casually...) They were having problems, most of them financial for about 3 years now. The younger guy had mood swings and depression issues. So his doctor prescribed anti-depressents. Which, after a while, he quit taking them. They made him feel  drunk and hazy and were making him gain weight - so he just quit.

And this past weekend, while at his mothers house, he went into the garage and grabbed a container of anti-freeze. No one know's exactly when he drank the liquid, but several hours later it had ravished his body and  while in the hospital, he had to be taken off life support. And was pronounced dead.

Why did this happen? Was there no one he could talk to? I read a great article about PAIN and COPING RESOURCES...

METANOI says,

“Suicide is not chosen...
it happens when pain exceeds
                                   resources for coping with pain.”

That’s all it’s about. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed, because you feel suicidal. It doesn’t even mean that you really want to die - it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if I add enough weights... no matter how much you want to remain standing. Willpower has nothing to do with it. Of course you would cheer yourself up, if you could.

Don’t accept it if someone tells you, “that’s not enough to be suicidal about.” There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to you. The point at which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have. Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain.

When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources.

You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things: (1) find a way to reduce your pain, or (2) find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible.

Now I want to tell you five things to think about. Find these out, on their site!

Since you have made it this far, you deserve a reward. I think you should reward yourself by giving yourself a gift. The gift you will give yourself is a coping resource. Remember, back up near the top of the page, I said that the idea is to make sure you have more coping resources than you have pain. So let’s give you another coping resource, or two, or ten...! until they outnumber your sources of pain.

Now, while this page may have given you some small relief, the best coping resource we can give you is another human being to talk with. If you find someone who wants to listen, and tell them how you are feeling and how you got to this point, you will have increased your coping resources by one. Hopefully the first person you choose won’t be the last. There are a lot of people out there who really want to hear from you. It’s time to start looking around for one of them.

Now: I’d like you to call someone.

And while you’re at it, you can still stay with me for a bit. Check out these sources of online help.

Additional things to read at this site:

• How serious is our condition? ...“he only took 15 pills, he wasn’t really serious...” if others are making you feel like you’re just trying to get attention... read this.

• Why is it so hard for us to recover from being suicidal? ...while most suicidal people recover and go on, others struggle with suicidal thoughts and feelings for months or even years. Suicide and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

• Other online sources of help:

• The Samaritans - trained volunteers are available 24 hours a day to listen and provide emotional support. You can call a volunteer on the phone, or e-mail them. Confidential and non-judgmental. Short of writing to a psychotherapist, the best source of online help.

• Talk to a therapist online - Read this page to find out how.

• Depression support group online: Walkers in Darkness - Please note: this is a very big group, but amidst all the chatter (and occasional bickering), it is possible to find someone who will hear you and offer support.

• Psych Central has a good listing of online resources for suicide and other mental health needs.

• Still feel bad? These jokes might relieve the pressure for a minute or two.

• If you want help finding a human being to talk with in person, who can help you live through this, try reading this article about how to Choose a Competent Counselor.

THERE  ARE OPTIONS!
Suicide and attempted suicide are often linked to a build up, or combination of difficult events. There might also be a 'last straw' event that encourages someone to attempt suicide. Not everyone who feels suicidal actually attempts to kill himself or herself. But if they do it can be a desperate call for help.


It is so awful to take one's life. It's a selfish act that hurts everyone around you - when there were surley options. Talk to someone. You can almost always get help, in any town, anywhere.

I heard a line in a movie tonight....when you are with someone, really, BE WITH THEM. Treat your time with them, like this could be the last time you ever see them again. Make sure they know they are loved by you.

Some things to think about...before it's too late.

Please.  Listen. and Love.  It may just save someone's life.