A dear friend me called today. He knew a couple very well. (We did not know them very well, just by name and sight, just casually...) They were having problems, most of them financial for about 3 years now. The younger guy had mood swings and depression issues. So his doctor prescribed anti-depressents. Which, after a while, he quit taking them. They made him feel  drunk and hazy and were making him gain weight - so he just quit.

And this past weekend, while at his mothers house, he went into the garage and grabbed a container of anti-freeze. No one know's exactly when he drank the liquid, but several hours later it had ravished his body and  while in the hospital, he had to be taken off life support. And was pronounced dead.

Why did this happen? Was there no one he could talk to? I read a great article about PAIN and COPING RESOURCES...

METANOI says,

“Suicide is not chosen...
it happens when pain exceeds
                                   resources for coping with pain.”

That’s all it’s about. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed, because you feel suicidal. It doesn’t even mean that you really want to die - it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if I add enough weights... no matter how much you want to remain standing. Willpower has nothing to do with it. Of course you would cheer yourself up, if you could.

Don’t accept it if someone tells you, “that’s not enough to be suicidal about.” There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to you. The point at which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have. Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain.

When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources.

You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things: (1) find a way to reduce your pain, or (2) find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible.

Now I want to tell you five things to think about. Find these out, on their site!

Since you have made it this far, you deserve a reward. I think you should reward yourself by giving yourself a gift. The gift you will give yourself is a coping resource. Remember, back up near the top of the page, I said that the idea is to make sure you have more coping resources than you have pain. So let’s give you another coping resource, or two, or ten...! until they outnumber your sources of pain.

Now, while this page may have given you some small relief, the best coping resource we can give you is another human being to talk with. If you find someone who wants to listen, and tell them how you are feeling and how you got to this point, you will have increased your coping resources by one. Hopefully the first person you choose won’t be the last. There are a lot of people out there who really want to hear from you. It’s time to start looking around for one of them.

Now: I’d like you to call someone.

And while you’re at it, you can still stay with me for a bit. Check out these sources of online help.

Additional things to read at this site:

• How serious is our condition? ...“he only took 15 pills, he wasn’t really serious...” if others are making you feel like you’re just trying to get attention... read this.

• Why is it so hard for us to recover from being suicidal? ...while most suicidal people recover and go on, others struggle with suicidal thoughts and feelings for months or even years. Suicide and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

• Other online sources of help:

• The Samaritans - trained volunteers are available 24 hours a day to listen and provide emotional support. You can call a volunteer on the phone, or e-mail them. Confidential and non-judgmental. Short of writing to a psychotherapist, the best source of online help.

• Talk to a therapist online - Read this page to find out how.

• Depression support group online: Walkers in Darkness - Please note: this is a very big group, but amidst all the chatter (and occasional bickering), it is possible to find someone who will hear you and offer support.

• Psych Central has a good listing of online resources for suicide and other mental health needs.

• Still feel bad? These jokes might relieve the pressure for a minute or two.

• If you want help finding a human being to talk with in person, who can help you live through this, try reading this article about how to Choose a Competent Counselor.

THERE  ARE OPTIONS!
Suicide and attempted suicide are often linked to a build up, or combination of difficult events. There might also be a 'last straw' event that encourages someone to attempt suicide. Not everyone who feels suicidal actually attempts to kill himself or herself. But if they do it can be a desperate call for help.


It is so awful to take one's life. It's a selfish act that hurts everyone around you - when there were surley options. Talk to someone. You can almost always get help, in any town, anywhere.

I heard a line in a movie tonight....when you are with someone, really, BE WITH THEM. Treat your time with them, like this could be the last time you ever see them again. Make sure they know they are loved by you.

Some things to think about...before it's too late.

Please.  Listen. and Love.  It may just save someone's life.